What is normal?

I've been trying to avoid writing about 'the pandemic'. There is so much information coming at us on so many levels. After having the same conversation with a friend last night that I keep having with friends over and over and seeing on other social media sites, I decided this morning that there is something that needs to be addressed.

When will things go back to normal? What will normal look like? These are the questions I keep hearing people ask. We keep looking for normal outside of ourselves. We keep looking for external situations to validate that we’re safe and things are 'normal'. The thing is, normal is an internal state of being not an external experience. Nothing outside of us is ever normal. We create habits and fill our calendars so we can pretend it's normal, pretend it looks the same every day. Things are no more or less normal than they were at the beginning of 2020.

Normal is not an external experience. We need to start creating the feeling of normal from within. When we can create a feeling of normal internally, whatever is happening externally doesn’t really matter. The normal that we create inside of ourselves allows us to be present with what is instead of being upset about how things should be, how things were or how we want things to be. When we create a space of normal within ourselves we feel safe regardless of what’s going on outside of us.

Normal is a state of being when outside influence doesn't dictate our internal reality.

So how do we create an internal normal? For everyone it’s going to be a little different but using tools like meditation, journaling, yoga and being in nature are important to this process. Normal is a state of being when outside influence doesn't dictate our internal reality. There is always going to be outside influence. The trick is to maintain your feeling of normal when there is outside influence. The feeling you have being in nature, that grounded spacious peaceful feeling...that’s normal. It’s the same feeling you get in meditation or yoga or after journaling. The spaciousness that you feel in your mind and in your heart that feeling of coming home within yourself. That’s normal. And when we can cultivate and maintain this inner stillness, the changes that we are experiencing right now whether it be loss of a job, working from home, homeschooling your kids, sheltering in place....whatever it is, when we have inner stillness we can approach all of these very unpredictable changes with grace and ease and, dare I say, joy. The truth is none of us know what the other side of this pandemic looks like. We don’t know what things will look like when we go back to work. We won’t know when we can see her favorite band again, celebrate birthdays together, travel. But when we stop searching for normal outside of ourselves and we start searching for normal within ourselves we no longer need the external validation to know we are okay. We know that we have creative internal resources available to surrender to the flow. When we choose our internal normal we choose joy and we choose faith and we choose connection and we choose love. These things are absent when we are looking for a normal outside of ourselves.

Acknowledge the reality and choose the story.

When we choose and connect with our internal state of normal we are not driven by fear or scarcity or loss. Internal normal connects us, it leads inspired action from a place of love, from a place of unity. Our internal normal doesn’t allow outside circumstances to dictate how we feel. Yes we may have lost our job, yes we may be working from home and yes we may be homeschooling our kids. Yes life looks different, we can acknowledge the reality and choose the story.

What story do you want to tell about this time? What story do you want to wake up to every morning? One of love and possibility and excitement and joy? Or one of fear and scarcity and loss? Your life may look very different but I guarantee you there are possibilities and gifts in your experience right now and the only way to find them is to find your internal normal. Because here’s the thing...we never had control over it anyways. Our perceived sense of control let us feel normal based on our external circumstances and now it is so clear and so in our face how little control we have but it’s no different than before. We didn’t have control before and we don’t have control now.

We do have control over the story that we choose, the internal normal that we create. We have control over deciding how we move through this experience and finding your internal normal helps you quiet the chaos of the outside world. Quiets the really overwhelming decisions that may or may not be made about our own health. Quiets the uncertainty of not knowing. It brings us into the present moment and this is the only place that we can choose joy. The only place that we can choose love and abundance.

So I ask what does normal look like for you? What does normal feel like for you? And if you don’t know that’s OK. This is a beautiful time for us to re-define what our internal normal looks and feels like for us.

Here are some ways that you can commit to finding your new normal. How you can find that space within you that is quiet, that is loving, that is inspired. That place within you that is still and that is present. It does take time it does take commitment. There is no magic pill or a little switch to flip, but I promise you the work is worth it. I promise you that the security of creating internal safety is worth 20 or 30 minutes a day. I promise you that creating an internal normal will create more possibilities than you ever imagined. Most importantly creating an internal normal I’ll bring you self love and a stillness within you that no pandemic, no change in employment, no change in your living situation can ever change.

Create a morning routine

I typically do this before I do anything else. Usually before I make tea or coffee, definitely before I get on email or social media. This time dictates the rest of your day, don't cloud it with the very things that take away your inner voice.

This morning routine doesn’t have to be one thing, it can be a series of things. It can look different every day. Maybe it’s meditation and yoga, maybe it’s yoga and reading, maybe it’s getting outside and feeling the sun on your face each morning. Whatever it is give yourself 20 or 30 minutes of quiet time each morning to reflect, to come into your own body and your own space. To be quiet before the outside world influences you. Take a hold of your being, take hold of your autonomy, take hold of your spirit and declare your internal normal. Choose the story of your day.

This time isn't always sunshine and rainbows. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Sometimes in this quiet time we may feel sad, we may feel loss. It’s OK. It’s also important that in this time we really choose what our story is. Choose how we want to feel. In this time we choose possibility, we choose creativity, we choose autonomy, we choose joy, we choose abundance. In this time we set our intention for the day. During this time declare how do you want to feel today. What’s important to you today? Is it more important that your kid gets their schoolwork done or that they feel supported and heard and connected? Is it more important for you to feel scared or is it more important for you to feel possibility? This morning time is the time that you choose your story. You choose the narrative of your life.

One question that I’ve asked myself a lot during this time how do I want to reflect on this time? Do I want to look back on it and say I was stressed and defeated, running around like a chicken with my head cut off? Or do I want to look back on it and say that I chose to live through this with presence and grace and love for myself and for others. What thoughts and actions do I need to take to live out the story I desire?

Get outside

Being outside engages our present moment senses. Moments like this when we don't know what we're doing and we don't know what things look like have us in our head way to much. We're trying to think our way out, when we need to feel our way out. In order to be present, to have access to creative possibilities, to be able to choose our internal normal, we need to be in the now.

Get outside. Feel the sun on your skin. Feel the earth under your bare feet. Do yard work. Stare at the clouds as they float by. Go for a walk on the earth instead of a sidewalk or street. Feel the earth underneath your feet. Whatever feels good to you.

Mother Nature is a powerful healer. Go outside and tell her your fears and sorrows. She can handle it and more importantly, she can help. Ask her for guidance. Ask her what to do. Get quiet and listen.

Dance it out

Much like being outside, dance is a fun and playful way to get in our bodies. You have so much wisdom in your body. When we are tense and stressed we are literally cutting off the wisdom our body has to offer. Dancing releases the stuck areas of our body and allows energy to move. When our body is moving energy we have access to more wisdom then if we are just tapped into our brain knowing or our thinking.

I also encourage yelling and screaming while dancing to move any frustration, fear, anger through you.

Here is a little 'Dance it Out' playlist I made for Spotify. Check it out here. It's a random, feel good, get your booty moving playlist that I'm always adding to.

Get Crafty

You don't have to be an artist to create art or get crafty. Art is for pure enjoyment and has so many benefits. When we are thinking too much, we are specifically using more of the more logical and compartmentalized part of our brain. This part of our brain doesn't have as many creative connections. It can't think outside of the box and therefore our options seem limited and we can often feel stuck.

Creating art, painting, sewing, drawing, any creative endeavor uses the parts of our brain that have more creative connections. Creating art of the sake of creating, helps our brain process stressful situations and opens us up to creative solutions. Not to mention art is fun. When is the last time you picked up a paint brush just to paint a picture?

Let your brain 'shut off' for a couple of hours and color, paint, draw. You'll be amazed at the solutions your brain comes up with when you turn it off in this way.

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Life is different right now. It will be a while before it resembles what it did at the beginning of 2020. That is the reality. We need to acknowledge that. Because life is different WE need to be different. We need to choose the story that we want to live. Not just now, but every day.

This pandemic is bringing to the surface all that needs to change individually and collectively. We are being given an opportunity to see what is working in our life and what isn't working. We have the opportunity to make some changes in our life that will forever define what is normal for us.

I think for many of us the reality of, you know, learning a new language or doing some crazy house projects, isn't totally realistic. Life is still happening. We still have to work, we still are homeschooling, we’re still living our day-to-day life. But I still think that we can choose how we live our day-to-day life. The intention that we bring to each day the story that we want to tell.

Be well. Be happy. Be abundant.

Love to you - Sarah