How Defenses are ruining your life

Defenses are a pain in the ass. They are exhausting, no one really likes you when you're in your defense and they are keeping you from living a fulfilling, authentic life.

So what is a Defense?

It's not just what you do when you are under stress. Defenses are how we think we need to show up in the world to be seen and accepted. Emphasis on how we THINK we need to show up....not how we authentically show up.

Defenses are how we think we need to show up in the world to be seen and accepted.

If the way you authentically show up in the world or what we call your Primary Creative Energy is you in your birthday suit in all of it's glory, letting it all hang out without any shame, then your Defenses are the clothes you wear to be accepted. Some people dress loud and crazy. Some dress to make others comfortable. Some dress to fit in so well they can't be seen and others may do a little of all of this.

Let's break this down a bit.

We have four options when it comes to Defenses.

A Distant Defense style is one that is pulled back and reserved. This defense style does a lot of role playing and doesn't embody any authentic masculine or feminine qualities. They think they need to show up as a role to be accepted.

A Disarming Defense style is an authentically feminine defense style. Those that identify as male or female can have a Disarming Defense style. This Defense feels that they need to be more concerned with peoples feelings to be accepted and will keep people close to stay safe. People with a Disarming Defense style will compromise themselves to take care of others.

The masculine Defense Style is what we call a Dynamic Defense. These people are more concerned with facts and deadlines. They will keep people at a distance to stay safe. They believe that managing a task and meeting deadlines is how they are valued in the world.

Our final Defense Style is called a Dysnamic Defense style. These people do both a Disarming and a Dynamic Defense depending on who they are dealing with. If they are dealing with a Dynamic Defense style they will be more Disarming. They will be more Dynamic when with someone that is Disarming.

We do have a fifth option and that is to be Pioneering. Individuals that are Pioneering understand that we have to have a Defense Style to operate in this world but they can consciously choose when and where to use each Defense style.

The thing is you are NOT your Defense. We are tricked into thinking the only way to stay safe and accepted is to take care of feelings or take care of facts so that others find us valuable.

This couldn't be further from the truth. You are a Creative Being. Your Defense keeps you from your creative power. You have a Primary Creative Energy that is your authentic way of showing up in the world. This Primary Creative Energy is far more creative and limitless than your Defense. It knows it is safe to show up authentically and doesn't need to limit itself for others to operate in the world successfully.

What would it be like to drop your Defense? To stop all the limits you've put on yourself and start living a really big and fulfilling life?

Let's do it....schedule a session today and start living a truly fulfilled life.